considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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