uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
