If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
