The maid of honor just puked.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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