If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
