i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Couch. On fire.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
