I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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