Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize