You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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