So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
