my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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