If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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