You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
