i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
