I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
