i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
