Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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