yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
