The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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