i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
