but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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