my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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