We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
