Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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