I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
