he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize