I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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