She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I had to cum in my sink.
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