i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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