AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
