In the future we'll all be gay
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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