can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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