Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize