Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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