Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
