There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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