No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
