Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
