Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
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