if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
