***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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