Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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