just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
