This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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