I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
