I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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