just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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