Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
