Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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