She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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