it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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