im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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