Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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