In the future we'll all be gay
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
