he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
