Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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