Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
