he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
