i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
