did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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