you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
